Death and sandwiches

"He doesn't look bad, he looks fine really" they lie. It's the first time I've seen a dead body. He is small inside the unassuming little box, you might even fail to notice him. His hands are crossed over his chest like Christopher Lee, the bruises on his face are large and dark. By his feet is an old vhs copy of 'Zulu', his favourite film. I almost laugh at the absurdity of it. Heaven's all blu ray mate.

His twin star laughs as she regails us with easy tales of their shared exploits. She makes it look easy, and will until the last of us leaves. "That is my dad, that, that is my dad" says his sister. Dead brother and father, eh? What do you say to that? I quitely decide that Terminator 2 will be my crypt companion.

The coffin is heavy, but it's nothing to do with what's inside. The top is on and it's on our shoulders, placed on the little alter like the dozen already that day. The worst thing in life is watching those you love spill their guts, I have never seen her cry before. Not ever. The music plays and the curtain camps it up with a scene stealer. Turns out the veil between life and death is purple.

Outside the weather is breathtaking. So many flowers wrought into handy platitudes. Others have smaller tributes next to their plaques, one has only 'Dad'. I don't look at it for long. I know there is something I should do, the handbook tells me so. Instead I clutch the jewellery in my pocket tightly and enjoy the sunshine. When asked what the difference was, the man with the gunfighters eyes beat his chest proudly and said "Corazon!".

We leave an old lady's house as quickly as is polite. I' ve eaten my fair share of sandwiches, all that death has made me hungry. Driving home feels like a getaway. I'm offered the chance to hear memories I don't share and I leave for a while.

I next become aware of myself as we stop on the drive. I'm in the garden. I want advice but there is noone there tonight, just the feeling of hands on my back again. I contemplate building an antenna to communicate with the deceased but I realise I have no wire coathangers. When I think about it, I haven't even seen one in ages.